Men's SWAG

The Dating Game-Rules of Engagement: Committmentphobia

Six month gym memberships. 2-year phone contracts. 15 year mortgages. As men we make long term commitments to everything except women. Why is it so difficult to agree to commit time and energy into another person, yet so easy for us to go right on ahead and sign our lives away for phones or cars or credit cards? I have had countless women ask me that very question, so this post is dedicated to them. Hopefully it’ll also serve as a shout out to all my fellow men out there afraid to commit themselves to something.

Let’s tackle each question separately. first, why don’t men commit? I’m sure every woman has wondered what in the hell it will take to get a man to finally settle. Ladies, men are afraid of commitment for a couple reasons. Pride and a very inherent fear of failure. Society tells us that men (especially young men) should play the field and go out and get with as many girls as possible and those that aren’t doing that are seen as squares or men with no game. So with the said, why would we want to be tied down? No one wants to be that dude that gets clowned on…and the fear of failure comes into play because relationships are hard work and require a huge investment. a two year phone contract is guaranteed, just like a mortgage. We know that as long as we pay our bill, we’ll have a phone or a house. But in a relationship, this is not always true. Sometimes in fact, we do everything we can and still end up without the very person we invested so much time and effort into. Who wants to go through that over and over? answer: no one.

So with that said, how do we as men get over this phobia of committing to the wonderful women of this world? And additionally, how can women help us along? well the answer to the first question can be found in a rejection of norms we have accepted as men. there is no shame in deciding to be with one woman. In fact, it takes more game and more skill to keep just one person happy for a long time as opposed to keeping several people happy for just a little while. Be willing to challenge yourself men and make sure you pick a good woman and stick with her. and as for all of my wonderful women of this world…just be sure to not put a ton of pressure on a man to commit to only you. it will happen when he is ready-if he is ready-and if he isnt htne it’s on you to move on and allow him to do what he’s gotta do

the challenge at the end of this? do what you can to allow yourself to be free from a fear to commit. Because a healthy relationship is worth the work…share this post with friends folks! and blow up our inbox with your messages and questions and topic requests.

-Stephen Wallace, Men’s SWAG